Big!!!

I feel huge... Like very big and heavy... But it's all good people... I'm in my 7 months now... 

Dark & Bright

Yesterday, as expected my ever dearest boss, the biggest one (both in power and size, at least among the bosses in M'sia office) decided to make my life miserable by not approving my non pay leave right after my xmas leave. She asked me to come back in Jan to work for 2 weeks then only fly back home again... WTF.

By that time it will be nearing my 36th weeks gestation and the thought of flying when I'm that "heavy" is scary. I even doubt the airline will allow me on board at that time. My doc forbids me to board airline after the 16/1/2010 but do I dare to fly at all during that period?

I somehow understand her given reason though. Not enough resources to cover my stuff. But then again, that's the point of telling you earlier, my dear boss. That you will have enough time to find that resources. Crap and crap.

What to do, what to do... Well, I did speak out my mind to my direct boss, smaller than the first one. So I guess I'll have to wait and see the next verdict.

I was so pissed yesterday and I have the thought to quit my job. But then I finally came to my senses that not having my own money will sucks big time. Really sucks.

Okay bitter part aside, let me look at the brighter, happier and fun side. This coming Friday, I will witness my first international tennis match called the Showdown of Champions, A Night of Aces... Hhehehe... Wanna see how pretty Anna Kournikova is in person... Excited! Ohh, I will go with my husband coz I won 2 tickets worth RM188 each through Redfm... I luv you Redfm. :D The seatings are not bad too for these tics, just at the side of the court, the call it golden seating. Grin.

And next week... OMG, I will go attend Glam Nation Tour concert on the 14th!!! Ngeheheehe.... I have been waiting since last year for Adam Lambert to come to M'sia and I will finally see him (from a far) next freaking week! This one I have to buy the tickets myself coz I don't dare to gamble and wait whether I will win any from any sponsors / radio stations. Ticket sales started on 14/9 and I bought on the same day. Haha, that's how agitated I was to get hold of the tickets. Seating plan wise, ok la. I guess. I hope so! Husband is tagging along cause he said nobody will take care of me during the concert, and one of my dear friend is coming too. My initial partner to go... Yes yes....Hehehe I can even feel my baby inside of me is excited to go as well. Haha.

Wah... can't wait for these events... I'm so demotivated at work now that I need more fun things to do. Another 2 ++ hours to go before office hours ended for today. Argh!!... (Don't judge, I know you've been slacking off during office hours too :P)

Monday rant

Hi peeps, it's yet another Monday and I bet most of us dread to go through one. Well to be on a positive note, I'm not working today.. Wait wait... I however will have to spend the whole day at the clinic, literally. It's my monthly check and also BSP day... Ya people sadly I was diagnosed of having gestational DM after the borderline MGTT...
Now I have another 2 hrs to kill before the next blood test so I will rant about something... Hehe..

Do you know anybody who constantly brag about him/ herself.. Like every single f-ing day? Well I do... See there's this colleague of mine who without fail will brag about herself all the time (we sabahan call this ppl minta puji). She will brag from something about how branded and expensive her clothings are till bout how much money she has that she lives in a wealthy residence... I mean, come on... If you want to announce to the world of how rich you are, people will get it the first time you told them. There's no need to keep showing off coz people like me will hate you to the bits..
So what if you're rich? Does that make you happy in this world? I don't think so. If your life is so fulfilling, why did your husband do not care enough when he fetched you one evening by motorbike when it's raining and you are pregnant... Why?

What... after all the tappings to type this rant I have only managed to kill 18 mins... What the...

Okay okay... So luckily I'm not sitting close to this lady in the office... If not, then I'll suffer like another colleague of mine who does.. Immuned to other people's body language of how annoyed they are when this lady will keep calling her to brag her latest life...
How to ward off such people?

I guess I'll never find out... All I can do is to rant bout them an avoid their company whenever I can...

Tagged... :D

Hehe... Lama pula nda tag me-nag nih... This time tagged by Memel... Ok here goes....

1) Apakah yang bermain di minda anda sekarang?

    Tia sabar mo mandi pastu mo tinguk movie di TV 40" yg husband baru beli... heheehe

2) Apakah nama samaran anda?
    Bibi (Rumah), Iggy (Kwn2), Ig (Kwn2)
3) Siapakah 3 orang paling kamu sayang?
    Tia cukup 3 orang... Telampau ramai ba...
4) Panggilan untuk si dia.
    Nama rumah dia juga... kadang2 ada yg special... Tp secret... Haha
5) Hadiah yang diimpikan daripada seseorang yang istimewa.
    Sia mo duit...
6) Blog mana yang anda selalu lawat?
    My blog list la...
7) Tagkan kepada 15 blogger.
    Doi telampau banyak juga... Hmm sepa mo buat ni tag buat la... Hehe :)

Finally!!!

Dumping business ... WTF

Lately, there were just too many cases of baby dumping... I don't get it. I'm sure many of you don't get it either. I mean why? Why eff around and not taking responsibility for your actions? And to the mothers, how could they? How could you NOT want your own baby?

People may say, they were scared of what people may think of them for having a child out of wedlock... But then by dumping and letting your baby die out of nowhere is OK? I think it's just pure stupidity.

Today I heard news about the first school in Malacca that will accept pregnant students or those teenage moms who wish to continue their unfinished studies. Maybe this is a good way to let these girls to get their educations no matter what has happened. But.... Something need to be done before the problem occurs in the first place. I still think sex education in school (especially in secondary school) is vital to curb such problems.

Parents also have to play the ultimate role in educating their kids about sex. They can no longer sit around and wait till their kids are old enough to find out what sex is all about. Nowadays, it might just be too late.

I really hope the youngsters will soon learn from all these baby dumping news/highlights and it shouldn't happen again in the future. I can only hope.

Tired yet delighted!

This morning was my second check up at the Govt clinic... Well I go to both, private and Govt... Just want  to have a taste of both worlds... Hehehe
But I tell you, to go to the Govt one is really testing your level of patience... But I managed to endure them all.. Haha...
MGTT done this morning... I have to undergo this one coz my dad has DM Type II... Downing a mug full of glucose solution on an empty stomach was not pleasant at all...

Anyways, my baby is doing fine... Hehehe couldn't tell the gender yet though... Both private and Govt doctor said will be clearer during the next round of scan... Hehe

I just hope everything will go just fine... :))

Ohh... I do have a blog.....

Ok... Last update was in May... Now it's already the month of August!!!
Gasp....

Oh ya... Btw i'm now 15 weeks pregnant... Hehe happy....

Hanoi Trip (Last day)

Our flight scheduled at 2.10pm local time so we need to leave the hotel at 11am. We packed the night before so we took our time lazing in the room... Finalised our packing and went down to the lobby for our breakfast. Our last Pho and Vietnamese coffee at the hotel... :(We ate like there's no tomorrow... Hehe

After breakfast we had approximately another 2 hours before the taxi comes, so we decided to went out for a walk at the nearby lake, took some pictures of the olderst pagoda in the middle of the lake and on the way back I managed to grab few things...

We took some pics with the hotel staff, thanked them for the superb service during our stay and I was quite sad to leave... They were so friendly...despite the language barrier...I will highly recommend this hotel to those who are planning to visit Hanoi...

We reached airport and immediately checked in. Out of a sudden there's this one long queue of locals being escorted to another KL bound flight counter and the line was made up of young vietnamese men and women. There were sadness in their eyes.. They must have taken up a job to work in our country through a job agency.. I wonder to work as what... and just outside the metal fence around the area were their family members watching from afar.. I guess they must be from a village somewhere and not the city as some of the mothers were holding jars of pickled things.. Maybe they thought that their child could bring it together with them..so they can have a piece of home with them. Somehow the scene at that time touched me.. Makes me even sadder...

Anyways, after checking in we felt hungry and went to the top floor to eat... Yey they have Pho!! So we ordered the same Pho with Vietnamese coffee and beer for husband... Last Pho in Vietnam for this visit.. :(

After meal, since we have 1.5 litres of alcohol per person that we can bring back to M'sia, we bought these...

Till then we haven't open any, coz there's still a bottle of white chilling in the fridge... So guess must finish that first... :)

So bye bye Hanoi... Hi Malaysia... (gasp! reality!!!)

P/S - In flight movies played during the flight back home sucks. I fell asleep.

Hanoi Trip (Day 4)

It was raining the whole morning and it was nice... I can't explain the serenity i felt when we head down to the lobby for breakfast... just pure bliss...

Breakfast was Pho and Viet coffee... can't get tired of these...srsly...

Then we tried getting a taxi from the hotel staff but the taxi didn't come (could be because of the rain and holiday).. Anyways, since the rain has almost stopped, we decided to walk to Dong Xuan Market... Erm, this market was suppose to be the place for you to buy all the souvenir stuffs...

Husband read the map and navigate, and my role was to find and read road signs... keke...
Oh did I tell you that I didn't bring any slippers so I have to buy one coz I felt like walking in flip flops that day.. I bought it the night before from the bicycle vendor lady and it costs me 80,000 VND... Wtf, RM16 for a pair of selipar jipun.. but what to do...just buy la..

Ok when we reached Dong Xuan, it's a big market, but poorly managed. We bought some stuffs and Vietnamese silks for the moms and the cute-cute face mask (famous in vietnam)... Bargaining was through calculators coz they speak little or no Enaglish at all. A word of advice, should you ever go to Dong Xuan market, never EVER go to the ladies... I regretted going but I have no choice coz I really have to pee and I got the shock of my life. They don't have walls in between the individual toilets. So the ladies just squat over the holes and go. No sink to wash hand just a single running pipe and a big bucket and a gayung there... Argh...! Tsk tsk... I have to pee so bad so I manage to survive the most extreme toilet condition in my life... haha.

We spent the whole day shopping / window shopping along the streets of Hanoi and by noon we felt hungry so went back to the hotel to put the stuffs we bought and went out again for lunch. We went to Pho 10, the place recommended by the hotel staff since day 1, but it's closed till dinner time, so we went to another restaurant near the hotel and ate this...

Not crazy bout it, but the deep fried roll was nice. The husband tried their local rice wine and he said it tasted just like langkau but stronger. So he almost got drunk from that small sip.. Tsk tsk.

After relaxing a bit we head down to hunt food again.. Dinner was Pho, Nem, and Ca Bo but pre-dinner we went to eat this. Forgot the name of this dish. But it's basically very fine rice porridge with char kui and shredded chicken meat on top... Tasty.

My tummy never felt happier...

After dinner, we went back to hotel to take our bath and immediately headed out again to find a place to lepak... We managed to find a cool place but it was infested by backpackers (most of them were mat salleh) so we went further into town and found a tapas restaurant... We didn't get any tapas but drank the cocktails there... Quite expensive.. Husband not satisfied with one drink so we went back to the cool place and managed to find available seats for us at the bar... So we ordered margarita for me and mojito for husband... then we ordered shisha (melon flavored) This was my first shisha ever! Then husband ordered more and more beers before we went back to the hotel... The bartender cum owner of the place asked us to write a memorabilia on the walls before we left.. so this was what we wrote...

Enough said... :)

Hanoi Trip (Day 3)

The next morning after breakfast we went near the cave area again for kayaking session.. I managed to force husband to kayak with me hahaha... It was sooo nice... My first time kayaking... A bit puzzled on the paddling wise...but we got on fine few minutes after... We saw a live jelly fish!!!... We paddled around it for a while until husband whined that he wanted to go back to the dock... duh... but I managed to persuade him to kayak some more... hehe . We didn't get any pics though coz husband said should the kayak flipped over at least the camera wont get wet.. O_O
Kayaking was around an hour, the rest of our group took longer.. I think they went further from our area... I envy them..

So we head back to the port...and reached there around 11.30am... Wah so sad to leave the boat... I love to sail... with comfort that is... haha
We got our group lunch at one of the restaurant on shore... Nice lunch... but quite hurried... Then hopped on the bus for journey back to Hanoi...

We reached Hanoi city around 4.30pm and quickly bathe, laze in the room for a bit then go out for dinner.. our dinner was Pho (see just how much we love pho!)

Oh and we stopped at the sidewalk near our hotel to eat Nem and Ca bo.. Nem was made of pork with fish.. like satay...Ca bo.. erm actually I don't know whether or not we got this one right but the dish was actually grilled squid, marinated in something sweet.. haha...husband love this one so much...

Oh and we did buy this for supper.. haha eating spree I tell you...

Hanoi Trip (Day 2)

Erm... It was not supposed to be a long pause between Day 1 and the next... but this is just me.Total procrastinator. :P

Okay. See if my memory still works... Day 2 was the day for Ha Long Bay trip... Yey!!So when morning came, we ate Pho for breakfast at the hotel and minutes later the tour guide showed up to pick us up for the trip. His name was Ngoc. Pronounce as "ngok"... Hehe

He's nice and his English was much better , can understand la. Our bus was cute, the small type. A bit bigger than a mini van. And it's pink in colour! However when we got in all the twin seats were already taken so Husband and I have to take the single seat each. Window seats though so I can snap pictures like mad.

Anyways it was almost 4 hours before we reach the port... and during the whole bus ride we saw donkeys, buffalos, cows, ponies dogs, birds, cats, ducks, geese and people... ok ok moving on...
When we reach the port, then it was like waaaa... so many cruise boats... very nice...And the place was crowded. It was a public holiday in Vietnam that day so the number of local tourists add up to the crowd...
So we got on to our boat... and it was a very nice imperial junk cruise boat. We got to our room and this was it...

We were pooled together with a Korean family, several couples from Taiwan (I think about 3-4 couples), a Vietnamese family and 1 single Vietnamese lawyer.
The view was superb... here are some pics...

Then we stopped at one of the famous cave...

The one floating village...

Then swim time...We didn't though coz it's open sea and we were scared.. haha. This by the way was our tour guide, he's about to do the single somersault thing...

And while he did that, we sipped our margaritas. Bliss...

At night after a nice dinner, oh and I almost got drunk from the bottle of white that we ordered... we had a karaoke session... but not before I tried my luck in squid fishing... It was a lovely experience although I didn't catch any.. husband got pretty drunk from all the cocktails and wine and sang his heart out during the k-oke session.. :D And we were rocked to sleep by the sea... :)

Hanoi Trip (Day 1)

Yey... Finally, my long awaited holiday..
Currently, I'm typing this post in my hotel room.. specifically at Golden Plaza Hotel, Hanoi... Yes, Vietnam! I'm writing this now, coz husband is fast asleep and I feel like updating!


I'm just happy to be here.. and glad that we can make the trip happened at last. Long story.


29/4/2010
Arrived at Noi Bai Airport. Picked up by the nice hotel person. First time seeing paper with my name on it being waved at the airport. Keke. The airport seems dull and a bit stuffy, and the officers over there were fiercely looking. And they were strict too. Husband said that's becoz this country is a communist country. Was a bit scary then. Anyways, airport transfer to hotel was uneventful until our car actually knocked down a motorist, a lady. Poor lady. Traffic was crazy!!! We were stunned on the first day coz everybody was honking everybody! All the time! Oh, the lady was unhurt, I think. Coz after several shouting between our driver, the lady and another motorist, she simply got up and took her bike/ scooter to the road side.
When we arrived at this hotel at around 3pm something, everything was nice. Our room has 2 beds though. I asked for VIP room with double bed, but we got an extra bed in this room. This room is more like a family room. But it is still nice. The extra bed officially became our dumping / lepak area. We have a jacuzzi (small) and internet in the room (with PC), so it's nice. Per night is at 40USD.

We tried to venture out of the hotel after we settled our stuff in our room... but immediately went back to the hotel coz everything was so unrecognisable (streets' name are so confusing). Hehe. So we asked further directions from the hotel staff, who's very helpful. However, we ended up in good hands for dinner coz my ex-colleagues brought us out for a very nice Vietnamese buffet that night. The buffet costs around 150,000 VND. It was nice to see Dr Mai & Dr Bui after so long... I have now fulfilled my promise to meet them in Hanoi. :) They were so nice that even though they have to work till midnight on that day (month end closing, underwriters u know this) and 30th of April was a National Holiday for Vietnam, it's their day to commemorate the merging of north and south of Vietnam, they still took time to get a taxi and fetch us at our hotel to go for the dinner. The buffet place was nice. Great foods with great friends!
After dinner, we went straight back to the hotel and went out to a nearby shop to buy beer, Tiger beer only costs at RM2.60 here. Husband is happy. We slept early coz we need to wake up early for Day 2.
TBC...

Such negativity!

I am seriously feeling demotivated with my life right now... Some of my colleagues have tendered their resignations and they will be out by June... Me? Whenever someone asked what am I going to do next, I will shrugged. I myself don't have the answer right now. Sit and wait? Whenever I feel the urge to apply for a new position I will be left thinking... if I were to be the employer, would I be hiring me? I don't think so... at least not to the position I wanted to apply to...

I NEED a direction in life. Where can I find it? I feel LOST and so insecure right now... Feel STUPID and unloved... How do you do it? To be sure of something? I just don't know...

I don't find any real pleasures in life anymore... My life is as dull as it can be. Sure I have a loving husband, but sometimes I doubt that he understood me the way I wanted him to be. I have a loving family, but they are so far from me, I can't reach them as frequent as I wanted to. I have friends... but we all have our own journey to ride... What else is missing?

People starting to give comments of maybe I should just start a family and focus on them.. Sure, I would love that more than anything.. but they don't actually fall down from the sky do they? Why can't I just be happy?

Lost World

Just when I thought I am the most screwed up person in this world, I came to know that
there are actually more people that I know ended up in this same boat that I'm in now...
What a life.

Today a good friend of mine shared with me about the feeling of being LOST. More of being uncertain of what path should we choose in life... I guess for me it will be career wise.

What should I do next? Lab work? Highly unlikely... Back to insurance line? Argh... even the thought of actually doing the things I used to do makes my head ache... So stay in this current one? It's leading me to nowhere... So what then? My husband asked me to set a goal... I don't even know how to set for one right now.

I know most of you will think how irresponsible I must be... Approaching 30 years old this year and still unsure about career path. I envy people who has been doing the same thing forever... Like most of my Uni friends who took up teaching course right after they graduate. Some were lucky enough to get to work in the gov sector. Now they are teachers, high ranked gov officers and I doubt that they will have to think to change their careers anymore.

Sometimes I do regret of my chosen field of study. Maybe I should have chosen something that is more career specific... But there's no point in dwelling the past anyway.

This can go on all night long and will come to no conclusion. The sharing I had with that friend I mentioned also ended the same. Guess it's easy to find a job ... but to find a job that you really love and passion about is like searching for a needle in the mountain of hay.

Got tortured... Really.

I had another session with my PT just now and I tell you, it was a REAL torture... My legs are literally refuse to move now. My arms are sore and now I just feel like lying in my bed and sleep. But the urge of updating party pics in FB and checking my long abandon blog keep me up fighting... Hehe...

To be honest, I am a bit annoyed with my PT. My session is scheduled on every Tuesday but for 2 weeks straight we have to reschedule because he was on MC for both Tuesdays. Coincidence much? Also I don't feel much difference so far from the earlier sessions, except for a tighter feeling on my upper arm and tummy... Hope they'll get smaller soon... Argh, so hard! Lucky I don't have to pay a cent for this... Hehe

On a lighter note, I won myself a buffet voucher for 2 person today.... Hehe, I know, it's a bit improper to talk about food in the same post about gym activities, but who cares! I'll do things as I like... and I need a nice treat for myself anyways! I can't wait to go!!! Yum Yum...

What the heck do you want from me?

I am mad. I'm mad that I let myself to be in this place again. I'm tired of believing that things are going to be better if I'd be nicer, gentler and mindful of other people's feelings. So damn tired of thinking what the hell have I done to deserve this. I am done.

Bangas!

Doi, kalau ini blog makanan, bangas sepuluh ribu kali suda... Kekeke....

A Recap of 2009

I guess I'll never had the time to do a long post about whatever happened last year... So here goes;

Great Times:
- I married my long time partner on the 28/11/2009. (I'm just purely happy that things went well on that day. Maybe there were some minor flaws, but the most important thing was that we were married in the name of God)
- I joined Fitness First and lose weight. (For those who wants to lose weight, I recommend you to exercise religiously, it does work!)
- My grandfather doing well after being discharge from IJN. (He underwent several surgeries and finally got a pacemaker implanted in him. )
-Celebrated New Year's eve in Kuching with my family and husband's family. (Initial plan was to have our second reception in Kuching on the 28/12/2009. But we cancelled it because it was inappropriate and change to a family dinner instead. It was fun. My family spent the days in Kuching by shopping at Waterfront and eating the ever famous mee kolok!)

Sad Times:
- My father in law passed away. (He died of asthma attack on the wee hours of 7/11/2009. This was like 3 weeks before our big day. To be honest, my wedding almost didn't happen. But my husband's family insisted that we go through with our wedding plans. I can't express in words my mixed feelings during that time. I kind of felt guilty to be happy for my wedding. My husband was devastated, and I don't blame him. Losing his father before our wedding was the WORST thing that could ever happened. My late father in law was in and out of hospital few months before he passed away. But no one could think of him leaving so soon. May his soul rest in peace. Amen.)
- My grandfather got really sick and admitted to a month plus at Cardiac Care Unit, IJN. ( He had an irregular heart beat that caused several fainting episodes. It was bad. But thank God, after the pacemaker, he's recuperating well at home now. I pray and hope that he'll become stronger and stronger each day)
- I gained weight. (This was so discouraging. I missed a lot of gym sessions few months prior to November, and practically none whatsoever from November till the year ended. I have mindless eating, and zero exercise, so all my hard work months before went down the drain.)
- No progress in career. (I declined a job offer, and no promotion at work. Working life sucks!)

I can't think of any other events right now. But that's it. Bittersweet right?

Now we are in the brand new year of 2010. Heck, it's already the last day of January! So far, a number of promising things happened. We are planning a holiday soon for our long pending honeymoon (still between choices), I bought a 4WD truck for my dad (well it's not like paid full in cash, loaned from the bank of course), I won few things from a radio station (cds, book...must be grateful), my husband got a double promotion at work (yey!) and we are looking to buy our own house (still looking) and I managed to get my husband joined Fitness First as well. So, no more this feeling like I abandon him whenever I spend my time at the gym. He complained bout my gym-ing session few times last year... Now he'll be dragged to go with me. Though I must say, from the things are right now, he's loving gym more than I do already!

Cheers to a fresh start with lots of love and prosperity!

Heart Adam!

Happy New Year 2010!!!

Hi guys!!! Been lost for a VERY long time. A lot has happened to my life since my last update. When time permits, I will write about them... I would say, my 2009 ended with a bittersweet memories.

Anyways, it's already the 14th day in 2010. What's new in your life? I have yet to make any resolutions for this year. I figured, maybe I shouldn't... or should I?

Of all the things I vowed to myself when 2009 begun, I think only 2 items were checked ...
So maybe I'll be more realistic this year. Simpler goals, lesser stress. Lessen the stress, happier me... Amen.